just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Randomize
