feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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