Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
