You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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