My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize