i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
