I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
