I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
worst night to have a conscience
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
