Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
