Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
