I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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