i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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