The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
