haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is wine microwaveable?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
