how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
