She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
