Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
