The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
