You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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