Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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