and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
