he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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