those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just forgot I was standing up.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
