Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
