ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
