just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize