I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
