She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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