I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
