I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
