So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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