Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
