So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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