I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
