The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Randomize