I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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