THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish i was in the wii world.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
