i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
