I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize