No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Come see our sink grown plant.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
