when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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