its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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