I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think a kid would responsible me up
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
