How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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