where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
