At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
