do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
