Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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