i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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