i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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