We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
