Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
