he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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