you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
