oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
