She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
