this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
