Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
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You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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