you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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