her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
