would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize