I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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