Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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