Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish my penis had a tongue
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
