that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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