I think I am morally bankrupt
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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