dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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