that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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