Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
