If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
