She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize