I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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