He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
