But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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