we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
