tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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