Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
